2023/2024
Nothing like a new year to get me writing.
I can’t remember ever having a bad year in 40 years. Sure, some years have been better than others, but I always felt like I could count on having an okay year at the very least. So imagine my surprise when I got dealt the stage 4A cancer card on my 41st year on earth. It’s like fate decided that I’m overdue for a bad year and 2023 took up the challenge.
This year, I spent a total of 35 days in the hospital, approximately 50 hours in emergency rooms, and untold minutes in waiting rooms. I had three major surgeries, two minor(ish) procedures, three blockages and an ileus from a finicky ileostomy, three full-dose chemo cycles, a broken elbow, about a dozen CT scans and x-rays, and Lord knows how many needle pokes for blood tests and IVs.
I suffered so much. I grieved for who I was and, for a while, could no longer fathom a future for myself. Most of all, I was scared beyond measure—of leaving the people I love too soon, of the great beyond, of being forgotten.
But despite the pain, uncertainty, and fear of this year, I was also on the receiving end of some of my life’s greatest blessings:
Receiving a prestigious writing award and graduating top of my class
Luckily being put in the care of the doctor who really advocated for me because we caught the cancer just in time
Ending up with my brilliant surgeon/oncologist and having successful surgeries
The privilege of living in a country where I never have to worry about paying for treatment
My employer not giving up on me and supporting me, even when I was poorly and performed badly
Becoming more financially secure
My family going above and beyond to take care of me
The most amazing nurses ensuring that I never feel less than a human being during my hospital stays
Spending time with our Dubai family right here in Calgary
Learning to bake bread and make better music
Losing 25 lbs. without trying (LOL)
One of my besties coming to visit and having a great adventure as a result
My best and truest friends doing their darnedest to keep my spirits up through the worst of it from thousands of miles away
Finding Miss Calliope and loving her
Marrying my best friend and the love of my life
Being declared NED (no evidence of disease)
Ending the year healthier and in less pain than I’ve been in the last two years
Being immeasurably loved
Indeed, it’s a better list than my ugly laundry list of gripes, which leads me to believe that Someone Out There, fate, the Universe, a karmic blessing, my spirit guide, or my guardian angel still has my back. Because of that, my gratitude surpasses whatever resentment I may have had, and I’ve become a firm believer that silver linings do exist.
I will always have cancer hanging over my head—it’s simply the nature of the beast. I will continue to be scanned, poked, and prodded in the foreseeable future. I will be terrified out of my mind each time. But I will also never take for granted the fact that I am still here, so I’m going to make it count to the best of this tired, chopped-up, and battered body’s ability.
My hope for 2024 and beyond is more than the sum of my fears. I keep going.





Wow what a wonderful spirit ✨ congrats on your writing award!
What a year, Iris! Congratulations on the NED finding and your marriage and cheers to an amazing 2024. You've certainly earned it.